Challenge: Hollywood Reboot

[finch]

For this challenge which I definitely did not ask mod approval for, task is to reboot either your own or someone else's story (with permission) like a completely unnecessary Hollywood reboot - make nonsensical plot changes, assure that your casting is as improbable (and possibly offensive) as possible, and remember to get that Strong Female Character in there!

The jig is up when the mods are back but for every piece of reboot fiction, "casting" post or faux movie trailer you post, I'll make sure I sneak a novelty bead in your pocket later.